The Mueller report is done. Special Counsel Robert Mueller submitted his long-awaited report on the Russia investigation to Attorney General William Barr on Friday.
Mueller’s document is expected to include findings on whether President Donald Trump’s campaign worked with the Russian government to help Trump win the presidential election in 2016. It was two years in the making, and it took a lot less time than that for social-media users to start cracking jokes about the report’s delivery and possible content.
Some had thoughts on the time the report took to complete, noting that two years is nothing when you consider Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin has been working on Winds of Winter since 2011.
“Congrats to Robert Mueller on finishing before George R.R. Martin,” wrote Jesse Spector.
Congrats to Robert Mueller on finishing before George R.R. Martin.
— Jesse Spector (@jessespector) March 22, 2019
God it must feel so good for Mueller to close all those browser tabs.
— Evie Nagy (@EvieN) March 22, 2019
i feel bad because I know he just found a typo and he seems like a nice man
— My Own Echo Chamber (@MineEchoChamber) March 22, 2019
Some feel the report needed greater circulation. “They should have dropped the Mueller Report like U2 dropped on every iPhone,” wrote Tony Posnanski.
They should have dropped the Mueller Report like U2 dropped on every iPhone.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) March 22, 2019
post it on medium you coward
— Kelsey D. Atherton (@AthertonKD) March 22, 2019
Others envisioned the moment when Mueller actually signed off on the enormous project.
FROM: Mueller, Robert
TO: Barr, William
SUBJECT: Final reportHey – attaching report. Thanks.
—-
FROM: Mueller, Robert
TO: Barr, William
SUBJECT: Re: Final report 📎Oops sorry. Actually attaching this time. Lol
📄— Emmy Bengtson (@EmmyA2) March 22, 2019
Mueller getting home to a DVR backlogged with two years’ worth of Real Housewives episodes
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) March 22, 2019
mueller is such a drama queen, trying to steal the glory of national puppy day for himself
— Erin bob mueller’s vacation Ryan (@morninggloria) March 22, 2019
And of course, there were plenty of jokes and jabs about what the report may contain. Matt Bors concocted a tweet useful for all political parties: “I definitely think the report I haven’t read supports the conclusions of the exact politics I hold and have been arguing for all this time. I love to be proven right!”
p. 1-28: investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election and related matters
p. 29-499: seriously, “Green Book”? how the hell did that happen— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) March 22, 2019
pp. 500-715: Dumbledore “merely bi-curious”
— Patently Awful (@CANDPatent) March 22, 2019
p. 499-5,793: Game of Thrones/Blue Bloods crossover episode fan fiction.
— Tom Faucet (@tfaucett) March 22, 2019
What if the Mueller Report is just a comparison/contrast essay about regional BBQ styles?
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) March 22, 2019
I definitely think the report I haven’t read supports the conclusions of the exact politics I hold and have been arguing for all this time. I love to be proven right!
— Matt Bors (@MattBors) March 22, 2019
And some tweets focused on how Trump will react to the report’s content. “Hot take: no matter what the Mueller report actually says Trump will interpret the report as an exoneration and many of his tweets about it will feature explanation points and the word SAD in capital letters,” wrote Molly Jong-Fast.
Hot take: no matter what the Mueller report actually says Trump will interpret the report as an exoneration and many of his tweets about it will feature explanation points and the word SAD in capital letters.
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) March 22, 2019
It’s not clear if the report will be made public. White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders tweeted: “The next steps are up to Attorney General Barr, and we look forward to the process taking its course.”
The next steps are up to Attorney General Barr, and we look forward to the process taking its course. The White House has not received or been briefed on the Special Counsel’s report.
— Sarah Sanders (@PressSec) March 22, 2019
Stay tuned, America.